YOUNG LEADERS
As children, we learn the lesson that “comparison is the thief of joy.” Your parents, much like mine, likely told you not to worry about what other children had but to be grateful for your lot in life. However, in the workplace, we’re often pulled in the opposite direction. In my industry, management consulting, comparing yourself to your peers is usually incentivized. The best performers (nominally) get the most significant raises. There are only so many slots each year for promotions, and plenty of firms still operate with an “up or out” mentality.
Even for leaders, habitually monitoring how you stack up to counterparts, or even subconsciously rooting for others to fail, can be tempting but emotionally draining distractions. We rarely take the luxury of stopping to appreciate what we have and to recognize the breadth of our growth or accomplishments. But doing so allows us to be more sympathetic leaders and more effective performers.
Context matters
Humans are born with an innate tendency toward self-comparison. We’re social creatures, and, for better or worse, part of how we judge ourselves is by contextualizing our achievements with those of our peers. Moreover, we also often find ourselves engaging in “upward comparisons,” i.e., judging our own lives against those who we view as more accomplished or more successful. In the professional world, this phenomenon can become a real thorn in our sides. If you find yourself constantly in subconscious competition with “more successful” coworkers, the effects can quickly become draining, both in terms of energy and self-esteem.
Along my journey, one of the most challenging lessons I had to learn when it came to leadership, is that the only competitor who matters is myself. If I’m better tomorrow than I was today, then I’ve won that contest. When that lightbulb went off in my head, it gave me more robust tools to help the development of those reporting to me on client engagement. I suddenly found myself with a new reserve of mental energy, which I was able to devote to helping others shine.
You aren’t the best at everything, and that’s OK
My completely unscientific and wholly empirical observation is that imposter syndrome feels more common than ever. It’s something that I’ve struggled with in my career and something I’ve watched countless brilliant and successful peers battle as well. For many leaders and high-performers, imposter syndrome can be accompanied by a fear of failure and a compelling need to be “the best” at everything they do.
The backward part of that is if you’re the best at everything you do, then you’re likely not stretching yourself to grow. If you never fail, then you probably aren’t taking any risks or stepping outside of your comfort zone. The things imposter syndrome makes you fear are often some of the feelings and experiences you have to have in order to become a better leader.
It gets easier to put that fear aside when you aren’t constantly trying to measure where you stack up against others. That’s difficult to do when we’re so hardwired toward self-comparison, but doing so can open up opportunities for growth that you may have avoided before.
You’re not racing anyone
Jack Welch’s General Electric (1981-2001) made famous a “20-70-10” rule, where employees were divided into buckets of top performers (20%), the middle (70%) and poor or lagging performers (10%). The 10%, were typically managed out of the organization. Today, of course, many good leaders have realized that such a scheme is archaic, leading to a culture of fear. In that environment, employees view the organization as their most significant obstacle rather than the problems they seek to solve.
Unfortunately, the subconscious need we have to rank ourselves against our peers persists, even in more progressive workplaces. Many high-performing workers find themselves in a race to the next rung on the corporate ladder, sacrificing sleep, family time and mental well-being in the pursuit of promotion. In a way, that’s natural. Our jobs are a huge part of how we define our own identities, and it’s normal for us to want to be seen as “doing well.” But, when so much of our self-esteem and sense of self-worth is tied to our professional achievement, it can be devastating when things don’t go our way.
Perhaps the most significant lesson I learned during a period when I had lost my job was that I had to find ways to define myself that didn’t appear on a business card. At the time, that was hard. But, as I began to grow, it got easier to see the ways in which I contributed to the world that had nothing to do with my role.
Consequently, when I got back on my feet, I soon noticed a change in my leadership and operating styles. I become more grateful for growth opportunities and chances to promote the betterment of my team and environment rather than simply my standing within the organization. I’d started to focus on becoming a better version of myself and not just a better consultant. It’s a difficult lesson to internalize, particularly if you’re naturally competitive. But if you aren’t spending all your time looking in someone else’s bowl, you’ll manage to fill yours up a lot faster.
Opinions expressed by SmartBrief contributors are their own.
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